• Fear,  Feelings,  Heart,  Personal,  Singapore

    Happy 46th birthday, but I’m not exactly happy.

    I dressed up for National Day! Haha you can’t really say it’s dressing up, cuz I still looked really plain. But Hammy likes this dress so I’m good :)   .. . . . In the end we both just stayed at his place to accompany his grandmother (since both his siblings are out), and watched the parade on television. I was okay with it, only because I know how crazy it is to be out when the rest of Singaporeans are out in the streets as well. It’s hell crowded! I cringe as I recall 5 years ago when I went out with my friends to watch fireworks at…

  • Fear,  Personal,  Reflections

    Vlogging is therapeutic.

    You know what? I realized that vlogging is actually a very therapeutic activity. Not the process of gakking and yakking in front of the camera; it’s the after-publishing moment that rewards. I’m saying this because believe it or not, I have a phobia of speaking to others via a machine, be it a telephone, video camera etc. . . When I was working as an accounts assistant, I used to DREAD calling suppliers on the phone. Because my phone conversational skills are so bad, and my mind is absolutely in a blank (even when I knew what I had to say), I had to write in sentences on paper, exactly…

  • Fear,  Feelings,  Personal

    Nightmares galore

    I’ve been having horrible nightmares the past 2 nights. Normally nightmares aren’t worth mentioning, but these 2 are somehow a reflection of real life and too scary for me not to voice them out. . . Nightmare #1 caused me to be angry with Hammy for the entire day! In the dream, Hammy had turned into a grumpy and angry monster who ruined my socializing event with some important business associates. Then I ran off to my grandparents’ after breaking up with him. I woke up feeling all messed up. . . Hammy spent the whole day trying to appease me for something he didn’t do, but by evening, I…